Is the male species really the evil gender?

“Men go for maids not because of the way she looks it has nothing to do with looks, it is the fact that she takes care of his needs”
A few weeks back I had an interesting conversation with a group of men and they shared a lot of things about women, relationships and why men cheat. What was particularly interesting for me was the reason why men end up going for house help. As women, we take offence when ‘our man’ goes for a woman we consider less attractive than us and we blame the man and ask, “What is wrong with you?” However, if the woman is more attractive we start to look inwards, we blame ourselves for not putting in enough effort to look good or do the things she does for him. We may not even make a fuss about it and choose to just up our game.

Now, I was told that this reasoning or mindset is very wrong. It has completely nothing to do with looks but everything to do with gender roles. They said, “You can use a budget of around 500,000 Ugandan shillings to completely change the look of the house help to match your standard and she will still take care of you”. Just buy her an outfit, pay for her hair, nails, face beat, some nice stilettos and she will look finer than the woman you married.

A good example is the story of Kabuura cheating on Flavia Tumusiime. Everyone blamed Kabuura for cheating on a woman like Flavia Tumusiime but we all do not know what really goes on in their marital home. We do not know what Flavia is like as a wife and the exact reasons why Kabuura cheated. The media painted Kabuura as the villain, but who knows, maybe Flavia was the villain. Ugandans have put Flavia on a pedestal that it is so easy to overlook her shortcomings yet she is actually human, she is not perfect. It was not fair play to put the worst picture of the woman that Kabuura cheated with next to one of Flavia’s best pictures.


Now, I was told that this reasoning or mindset is very wrong. It has completely nothing to do with looks but everything to do with gender roles. They said, “You can use a budget of around 500,000 Ugandan shillings to completely change the look of the house help to match your standard and she will still take care of you”. Just buy her an outfit, pay for her hair, nails, face beat, some nice stilettos and she will look finer than the woman you married.

A good example is the story of Kabuura cheating on Flavia Tumusiime. Everyone blamed Kabuura for cheating on a woman like Flavia Tumusiime but we all do not know what really goes on in their marital home. We do not know what Flavia is like as a wife and the exact reasons why Kabuura cheated. The media painted Kabuura as the villain, but who knows, maybe Flavia was the villain. Ugandans have put Flavia on a pedestal that it is so easy to overlook her shortcomings yet she is actually human, she is not perfect. It was not fair play to put the worst picture of the woman that Kabuura cheated with next to one of Flavia’s best pictures.


In my opinion, there is no equality in this world. People fighting for equality are simply wasting their time, you can fight for things to be fair and that is logical but equality, no. God created Eve to be a helper to Adam, a supporting role, a comforting role… the role of a woman. Women expect men to provide and protect and they do this without complaining. Women are expected to look after their husbands, cook, clean, and give birth. Basically gender roles. But why do women complain and manipulate their way out of executing their gender role?
Is there a house help that takes on the duties of a man to provide and protect? Now, why are you allowing the maid to cook for your man, go the extra mile of serving him and clean your bedroom? It is actually not rocket science why men go for maids, we let it happen, in fact we watch it and aid it then say, “The maid went for my husband.” We should be ashamed making such statements.
Men like that feminine energy. They want a woman who knows when to be soft, comes home and prepares his meal, serves him. Takes care of his needs, and when I say ‘take care of his needs’ I mean the sex too. It cannot be the same sex style every day. I can already hear some of you saying, “He will still cheat.” Well, if he still goes ahead and cheats, you did your part and the fault may not be yours. Maybe consider having a dialogue with your spouse before you rush to tell the world about it.


Point is, be kind to these men. They are dealing with psychological and physical torture from women. Most organizations are continuously fighting for the rights of women and the girl child, and men are left with nowhere to turn. They are afraid to talk about what they are dealing with at home because society will say, “Be a man.” But they are humans with feelings too. Men are just a vulnerable as women. Let us be fair.

This article was written by Atim Jordana and you can read some of her work Here

Published by tcndangana

The girl with an overactive imagination

5 thoughts on “Is the male species really the evil gender?

  1. The male species is really not an evil gender and neither is the female species. We are still all caught up in the blame game instead of finding a way to make things better.

    According to me what makes a person evil regardless of the gender is the evil you push their way. Be nice, peaceful and all loving and see if you won’t attract good vibes always.

    Anyways we can’t cover up for men too who are just naturally not satisfied or contented with the good they have. For Kabuura’s cheating issue, let us be reminded that a man who findeth a wife, finds a good thing. Why would he cheat when he had all the grace to adore his wife no matter her flaws incase they are the ones that led to the cheating?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Let us agree to disagree on this. It is not a cover up neither is it a justification. It is simply a male perspective for us to understand why issues in relationships or marriages end up the way they do. And like I said, we do not know the exact reasons why Kabuura cheated. It is not as plain as it looks.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes, women have got all these human rights institutions on their side but that’s because most of the times they are the victims but that has not stopped human rights institutions that have come up to be in support of the rights of men.

    As earlier said, some men are never satisfied. They can have all the goodness and perfectness they want in their wives and still cheat on them.

    She does all the chores so neatly, fulfills the conjugal rights so excellently and she is the best helper one would wish for but just like that, he will be tempted to cheat on the next woman he spots. Not because the wife isn’t perfect but because there is that spirit in him that needs to be pushed out.

    Wife out there, to every successful marriage, there is a perfect wife always on her knees in prayer. Talk to God. Let Him work on you husband.

    Liked by 1 person

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