A review:This is me the Metamorphosis of Ayo

Author: Patricia Opio
Cover rating:3/5
Overall rating:4/5
Themes: love, family, Christianity, HIV status,5stages of grief, courage, determination,self-care

SUMMARY
Patricia writes about her story and how her life changed when she turned twenty-five. The writer thought she had bigger problems but the news comes as a shock on her birthday because she is still a  virgin. Patricia struggles to come into terms with her HIV status and she is angry with God. Patricia embarked on forty days of prayer and fasting activity in the hope that God will eliminate HIV and she will be completely healed.

The writer is angry at God for failing to restore her health. God comes through for Patricia during her examination since the questions paper she used during the preparation stages are the ones she answers to during her exams.

Patricia suffers from depression and she even considers taking her own life. The writer finds ways to die that are less painful or painless deaths. Patricia loses interest in her job and so many other things. The reader also loses people she loves because instead of being there for her they end up saying hurtful words. She decides to take care of herself and take charge of her life and she can accept that she cannot control everything.

What I loved about the book
* The author highlighted that although life is maybe full of challenges it will get better.
* The author was vulnerable and shared her personal story with her readers.
*Healing and finding peace can come from anywhere.
*God loves every one of us.
*

Favourite quote
” This journey has been about accepting the bad that
has occurred; acknowledging the pain, allowing myself
to go through the stages of grief and trusting the process
however long it may take. Accepting that bad things do
happen to people, I am not being singled out for some
wrongdoing I might have done. Life is simply about
ups and downs. “
Do I recommend this book? Yes

Will I be reading a book written by this author? Yes

You can listen to the review on my podcast Here

She leads

She danced, she smiled and remember how far she has come.
Other heroines made the walk easy for her.
They held her hand, they encouraged her to follow her dreams and they loved her.
All the good deeds that happened to her were done for no price.
But she had one promise that she had to keep.
She had to be her sister’s keeper.

Don’t dwell in the past

As I look back I don’t have any regrets, I have made a lot of mistakes and there was a time I hated myself. But I have managed to reach out to the younger version with myself and a heart to heart conversation with her. Instead of judging her, I have allowed her to share her story and understand that there was a time I was young and I made the wrong decisions. I have cried and I have been shy to raise my hand or say my truth simply because I was afraid of criticism.

There was a time I gave up on something that made me happy just because I wanted to fit in. I am not that girl anymore. This life is too short to wait until you have everything and start living your best life. Make sure the image you see in the mirror is happy! I am not perfect and I will never be perfect but I will do my best while I can to ensure that I am happy, healthy and always make myself the priority.

A lot has changed



This was supposed to be a happy and safe place but everything seems foreign. Everybody has been distant, and it is possible to miss your family when you live under the same roof. Everyone is busy chasing their dreams and there is no one to reach out to anyone who is going through a rough patch in their lives.



There was a time you looked forward to going home because there was someone to listen to your long tales or allow you to vent after having a long day. Sadly all you have are great memories because the home has become an empty nest and you hold onto the memories you shared with some of your family members that you have lost.

I don’t know what home means to you but I hope it is full of love, support and joy.

Brand Loyalty

Have you ever wondered why your parents only buy a particular brand of peanut butter? Maybe it is time you sit them down and ask them why they have been loyal to several brands. These brands have been part of your household and they have been a part of your life.

As I look back I have realised that I have been loyal to particular brands firstly because that’s what my mother preferred to buy and they somehow rubbed onto me.



Fast forward to my adult years, there is a particular shoe brand that dominants my shoe closet. This brand has been a part of my life since I could walk. The colourful canvas shoes were comfortable when I was in kindergarten. When I went to first grade I wore the shoe with confidence. I wore this shoe brand on my first date, job interview and when I had a run around town.  This particular brand has had my back for as long as I remember and we will stick together until the end.

I have been loyal to a particular sanitary ware brand because it gave me confidence in my first period. Although I was anxious, this brand became my friend and its brand name always makes me smile and remember that my period is a happy time🙃

The blast furnace

“Each age comes with its pressures“, The words that my aunt said while rekindling the fire a decade ago makes a lot of sense now. I was wrong for judging her, she has walked the paths before, she has been thrown in the deep end and I have lost count of how many times adulthood has been unkind to her.

I prefer being in my apartment, sitting on my couch and watching the members of staff from the supermarket close to my house receive their deliveries. Life goes on whether I sit on the couch and wear my misery cap or wear my beautiful smile.

Sometimes when you have tried so hard or rather done your best you wonder where you went wrong. But it has dawned to me on countless occasions that life has no formula.
I want to be like them, I want to walk down the aisle too, I want to look forward to leaving my workplace and going to a home full of love, I want to raise a tiny human being that looks like me. Is it possible to ask my peers how they have managed to balance a lot of responsibilities without them making fun of them? When will I be able to know that this is the right time?

You deserve to know

You deserve to know
I write this letter with a heavy heart. I wish I could locate where the pain is coming from and ease the pain. It hurts and I wish it would all go away. It is difficult to explain to someone that you feel like you are about to drown when you are walking on dry land. Sometimes I struggle to catch my breath but then maybe it is all happening in my head but although it might sound silly it feels real to me.



You deserve to know why I have been distant lately, but do you have the time to sit down and listen. I don’t want to burden you with my tonne of struggles, and I don’t want to be a burden. One moment I have everything figured out but then it just hits me and I want to spend the day in bed. Is this all my own doing or should I blame the pandemic? Maybe it is time I find someone to talk to.

Fingers crossed, it will get better.

Me


This blog post is dedicated to anyone who is going through a difficult time, who might be feeling anxious, confused and exhausted. You are not alone

The journey by bus

The dusty roads and the overcrowded bus terminus brought back a nostalgic feeling of home. Going home to the rural areas means spending time with loved ones and being in a different space where you are surrounded by nature and cattle bells and goats bleating rather than the unending car hoots.

This bus might remind you of the good or the bad memories.

Some go home to be with their parents or grandparents is also time to celebrate their wins and ask for advice on certain issues.

The carrier of the bus might be packed with groceries and gifts from loved ones in the city. Although some families are unable to travel to the rural areas they make sure that they have sent the bus driver with a parcel to be delivered to their homestead. The enclosed letter warms parents hearts since they are notified that their children and their families are well.

This bus also reminds some people of what they have lost and they only hold onto the memories since death robbed some parents of the opportunity of watching their children disembark from a bus.

Lastly, for some families, this bus reminds them that they can reconcile with their loved ones. Fix the wrongs and loved ones

Although the journey to the rural areas can be uncomfortable, it will never dampen someone’s spirit because they will focus on the bigger goal which is meeting their loved ones.
What does the bus or the overcrowded bus terminus remind you of?

This too shall pass

May you heal and have the strength to go through the day. May your tears ease the pain and may the good memories comfort you. You cannot change everything but you ought to find peace over the things you cannot change.

Remember, you are stronger than you think. I hope the past experiences will give you the strength to fight. If you do not have the strength to fight,  please remember the day you held your child in your arms, when chose to be happy or when you laughed so hard? How did those happy experiences make you feel? Do not let that fighter and the happy soul in you down. Keep fighting, soldier on and remember, this too shall pass

Don’t let go

This life stole our joys, we wish we could call or embrace our loved ones but it only hits us that they will continue to live in our hearts. Sometimes we receive bad news every day and we are uncertain of what will happen tomorrow. Our hearts have been broken and our spirits have been crashed and one would wonder if the pain will ever go away. Maybe you have received a lot of bad news as compared to bad news

But…
I think it’s brave of you to smile and laugh each day. You are brave for keeping hope alive because it keeps going. I think it’s brave of you to hold onto the memories of your loved ones whom you have lost and make them proud. You are brave for trying and never giving up. You are brave for being here!

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