My father was institutionalised today and he hates me. Baba believes that I signed the admission forms so that I can get rid of him. I couldn’t watch him hurt himself and become a different man. Baba never cried and always bottled his emotions. He always carried someone’s burdens as his own. Baba would have sleepless nights trying to solve an aunt’s uncle’s or cousin’s issue. Family time never existed in our home and I missed my father.
Sometimes Baba never had money to buy a new pair of shoes or buy his favourite beer. All his money was spent clearing the debts accumulated by a family member. Baba would cry in his sleep, the burdens he carried on his shoulders weighed him down. When Baba failed to assist a family member he would end up having an anxiety attack.
Each week he had to take his clothes to the tailor for alterations. Although he seemed okay he wasn’t. Maybe you now understand why I signed the admission forms. I couldn’t watch my father having hallucinations or losing interest in most of the things that he loved.
Baba should have been a bit selfish and taken care of himself. He might be the first born in his family but he cannot solve all the problems. Some people will say Baba has been bewitched but he failed to take care of his mental health.
I hope that one day Baba will look me in the eye and say “mwanangu wakaita hako”.(thank you, my child)