Do I deserve to be loved?

MaMoyo my own mother gave up on me.
She wanted nothing but the best for me but , I had a choice and I chose to break her heart.

When I was young I used to break my mother’s plates and cups and she used to replace them .
When I turned twenty my actions and my hurtful words broke her heart.
Her life has been nothing but a living hell for the past five years.
MaMoyo always cries herself to sleep , I really I wish I could come up with a cure for her the invisible wounds she has to nurse everyday .

My own mother wanted nothing but the best for me.
She never stopped loving me even though she knew that I was not worthy of her love.
How is it possible  to love someone deeply when that particular person always hurts your feelings?

Although MaMoyo was patient with me she decided to let go of my hand.
She chose to let go because she had lost all hope, she did not believe that I could be a better person.

How can a total stranger be patient with me when my own mother gave up on me ?
MaMoyo looked into my eyes and uttered these words ‘ iwe wakafa kare ‘
I am good as dead because I have brought nothing but pain and misery in my mother’s life. I really wish I could be a blessing rather than a burden. Will she be able to forgive me ?

I am sorry but I do not believe it when a total stranger tells me that they can love me. All l want is to be happy and  to be able to forgive myself . However the thought of finding peace sends a cold shiver down my spine.

Published by tcndangana

The girl with an overactive imagination

4 thoughts on “Do I deserve to be loved?

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