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Dear Dumisani

I never thought this day would come but I guess this is goodbye. I have been patient with you , I have justified your actions and I have never stopped loving you. Dumi I hate goodbyes but if I …..

“What are you working on so early in the morning Jane ?”
My eyes meet Dumisani’s and I quickly close my diary and take a sip of my coffee which is now cold . I have been sitting on this chair for close to an hour and I have been struggling to write this letter. It was never supposed to end like this,this was not the life I had imagined .Dumi and I were in a happy marriage and he makes me happy even up to today .He is a wonderful man but , whenever he raises his fist my whole body becomes numb.

“I am brainstorming on a few questions that I have to ask that woman in our neighbourhood who gave birth to triplets.”
I make my way to the sink and begin to wash the dishes and I try so hard not to drop a tear because standing on my two feet really hurts.I know that Dumi will apologize for beating me last night and he will promise never to do it ever again but he will never live to his words. Every night he beats me up and it has become the norm of going to work with a swollen face and puffy eyes. Before Dumi and I got married he was violent but I ignored the red flags .I have been in and out of hospital on several occasions and I have had three miscarriages.

Dumisani is a perfect husband according to my father and my sisters envy my marriage but how I wish they knew that I always try to cover my cracks and my wounds each day. Maybe Dumisani goes away with everything because he knows that my family adores him. How I wish my family knew the horrible truth.

“I am really sorry my love I… ” , I quickly cut him short because I have heard that broken record countless times. Dumisani pats me on my back and leaves for work ,I have made up my mind and when he comes back from work I would have left him for good.

Junior is playing with his little sister in the living room and it really breaks my heart that I will be leaving my children behind. My children have got everything they need and their father will never hurt them. It takes forever for me to get up since my whole body aches . My colleague was right ,there is no need to stay in a abusive relationship and I do deserve a better .Although Dumi loves me l have to go . Life is a gift and I do not want to loose it .

I will definitely miss children ,I will miss cleaning my house but I will never miss being beaten by my husband. I will never miss the pain,the bleeding ,the bruises and a part of my life that I have lost because he was violent. I hug my Busi and send Junior to the store to get a few groceries .When Junior comes back from the store I will be gone but I never meant to hurt him. I have left Dumi’s letter on our bed and I hope he will realize that he broke me .My WOUNDS will never stop bleeding.

Published by tcndangana

The girl with an overactive imagination

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